Taking my ‘Single-Self’ off the Shelf


I just got back from a fabulous business trip to Ottawa which I extended to go hang out and visit some friends in Montreal.  I had a wonderful time but also feel very happy to be back to my Halifax routine.

Although I was only gone for a week, I feel as though I’ve just come back from three or may even four trips.

Chapter 1 of my trip was spent in Ottawa attending business meetings and also attending a great conference.  I learned so much in just 3 days and met so many great people.  I even met a few people from Halifax. Yay – new friends!  While in Ottawa, my parents came to see me from Toronto, so I was able to spend my evenings catching up and spending some quality time with them.

Chapter 2 was spent with my good friend MC.  As former roommates, I always find it neat how when we visit each other, we like to slip into our old roommate habits.  We planned to spend our Sunday afternoon the same way we did when we lived together: lounging around in our pj’s with our laptops and the TV on, playing music and chatting periodically.  When we visit each other we also have a traditional meal that we like to cook for old times sake. I will save that recipe for another post, but I can tell you this: it is one GOOD pasta dish!

Chapter 3 of my trip was spent visiting my friend Kristin who I met last year, but who I feel like I have known for so much longer.  Kristin and I  had the good fortune of working with a group of wonderful women (there were about 5 guys in our group of 30 clerks), whom I feel so blessed to have gotten to know.  Anyhow, visiting Kristin and her roommate Kia was a lot of fun.  I spent my days working in coffee shops around Montreal (Kristin made a very detailed walking tour of the city’s coffee shops for me, which I absolutely LOVED).  In the evenings, we would visit with friends or just hang out in their charming Plateau apartment.  Before going to bed, we chatted over a scoop of Kristin’s delicious coffee ice cream with a cup of tea on the side.  That is a bedtime routine I could definitely get used to!  A highlight of this chapter was visiting the new Bota Bota, which is a posh Scandinavian spa built into an old boat! If you are planning on making a trip to Montreal anytime soon, you MUST save som time for this activity!

Chapter 4 was my trip back to Ottawa where I spent the day catching up with my in-laws before taking a flight back to Halifax.

Overall, it was a perfect trip! Thanks to all of my wonderful and gracious hostesses!

Thought it was only a week, this is the longest trip I’ve taken alone since getting married.  Coming from a very traditional background, I have to be honest, I was a bit unsure as to whether it was ok for me to leave my husband and go gallivanting by myself.  Since J is toiling his way though exam season right now, he really encouraged me to go.  We agreed that this time would be good for both of us.

Funnily enough, the day after I got to Montreal, MC and I watched a season 4 Sex and the City Episode where Carrie ponders the question “to be in a couple, do you have to put your single self on a shelf?”.  In that episode, Carrie is engaged to Aidan and finds herself missing her single life.  A few episodes later, they are broken up.  Though my situation is different, I can definitely relate to Carrie’s question.  In fact, I pondered it a lot myself while travelling last week.

I think everyone’s answer to this question is probably slightly different depending on who they are, who they are with, and what exactly it is about their single life that they miss.  For me though, I think the answer is definitely no.  I’ve learned (in my ever so long 1.5 years of marriage), that having time to “my single self” can make me into a better partner.  Taking trips like the one I just took, allow me to re-connect with myself and with my friends, which I think is very healthy for me.  Before I got married, I got to do my share of travelling and one of the things I loved most was exploring a new city on my own.  I also love hanging out with my girlfriends and having sleepovers.  When you get married, of course you get to do a lot of amazing things with your partner, and one of the best things about it is that you no longer HAVE to do stuff alone! Despite this, I think it is always important to make time, when you can (obviously don’t abandon your partner and kids!), to check-up on how your ‘single self’ is doing.

What do you think?

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Posted on December 3, 2011, in Food for thought, Inspiration, Travel and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I definitely think it is important to have some alone time…provided it is not at the expense of our husbands and children. In fact i think its a selfless and loving gesture to provide your spousr with the time to be alone and enjoy some ‘me’ time. However- I dont think i like the term single self. The single self was just that-single. Now, as a wife and maybe even a mother, i find that my alone time is still fillex with thoughts and gestures towards my family. And coning home from my alone time i am excited to share every detail of it with my husband. This alone time actually enhances the married self, rather than the single self.

  2. Je t’aime, missing you already…

  3. Very good points Dina 🙂 Missing you too MC!

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